Growing Pains...

When I was a kid I used to get this pain in my legs...an ache that didn't go away.  My mom told me it was called growing pains and it hurt because different parts of my body were growing at different speeds.

Sometimes I still have growing pains even though I've been the same height since grade seven.  My growing pains now hurt in my heart and mind as I grow faster in some areas than others.

I have always been the type of person who is driven to achieve, to be successful; some might even call me a perfectionist at times.  I work hard to avoid failure. Sometimes this means I avoid trying things I think I might fail at. In the past this strategy seemed to work.  No failure meant no disappointment, no pain, no struggles. But I have realized there is a flaw in this plan: when I avoid areas I am not strong in I avoid growing, I avoid challenges, I rely on others instead of learning from my own mistakes and growing stronger.

Learning about gentleness and strength while
dancing to the Maori song Kia Kaha:
"Be bold, Be strong, Be steadfast and sure.
For God is our shelter and He is our strength"

This past week has been full of growing pains.  As I work in ministry, I am constantly challenged to step outside my comfort zone and sometimes I fall flat on my face.  I am trying to open myself up to the possibility that failure isn't all bad.  Failure will help me grow, even if it hurts at the time.  I struggle because I don't like the growing pains, but I am not a quitter.  Fortunately I am surrounded with people who accept my failures and mistakes.  They are willing to help me up, dust me off, wipe my tears, and encourage me to keep pressing on.

One of the areas I have been feeling growing pains is in my communication with others.  I have been challenged to watch my words, and my tone: to consider how I speak to my coworkers here.  Interestingly enough I have had the same struggle as I am learning the Pacific Islander dances: my movements need to be less sharp and rigid.

My words and movements need to be softer...gentler...

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Colossians 3:12-14 

The pain as I bite my tongue and hold back my pride will be worth it to grow in gentleness and step closer to my identity as one of God's chosen people, beautiful in spirit and my inner self.

Prayer Requests:
- courage to step into situations that have a risk of failure
- humility to accept correction and not be defensive
- gentleness and softness in my words and movements
- strong relationships with people and God to comfort me in my growing pains